Gas-lighting is a form of manipulation where a person makes someone else doubt their judgment, opinions, or reality. The term started being used in the 1930's in a play about a manipulative husband trying to make his wife think she is losing her mind; this was later developed into an Alfred Hitchcock film.
This manipulative technique occurs in abusive relationships (with a partner, parent, friend, etc) in an attempt to discredit the victim's reality, but can be seen in many types of interactions. Some examples of gas-lighting can be blatantly lying, discrediting your experiences, distracting from the concern, minimizing your thoughts and feelings, shifting blame, denying any wrongdoing, rewriting past experiences, and in general is very dismissive. Gas-lighting can make the victim feel very isolated and alone, as they are being made to believe that they are "crazy", "unstable", "out to get someone", "overly emotional", "too sensitive", and much more. Some signs that you may be being gas-lighted by someone around you are:
- you doubt your feelings and reality
- you question your judgment and perceptions of the world around you
- you feel vulnerable, insecure, alone, or powerless
- you feel confused, and second-guess your opinions and choices
- you worry that you are too sensitive or too emotional
- you struggle to make decisions because you distrust your own opinions
Remember that you are not to blame for what you are experiencing, and are not responsible for the abuser/bully's actions. If you are experiencing this and/or other signs of an abusive relationship, a counselor can help. Contact Student Well-Being to schedule an appointment at wellbeing@mst.edu or 573.341.4211.
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