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Gas-lighting is a form of manipulation where a person makes someone else doubt their judgment, opinions, or reality. The term started being used in the 1930's in a play about a manipulative husband trying to make his wife think she is losing her mind; this was later developed into an Alfred Hitchcock film.
This manipulative technique occurs in abusive relationships (with a partner, parent, friend, etc) in an attempt to discredit the victim's reality, but can be seen in many types of interactions. Some examples of gas-lighting can be blatantly lying, discrediting your experiences, distracting from the concern, minimizing your thoughts and feelings, shifting blame, denying any wrongdoing, rewriting past experiences, and in general is very dismissive. Gas-lighting can make the victim feel very isolated and alone, as they are being made to believe that they are "crazy", "unstable", "out to get someone", "overly emotional", "too sensitive", and much more. Some signs that you may be being gas-lighted by someone around you are:
Remember that you are not to blame for what you are experiencing, and are not responsible for the abuser/bully's actions. If you are experiencing this and/or other signs of an abusive relationship, a counselor can help. Contact Student Well-Being to schedule an appointment at firstname.lastname@example.org or 573.341.4211.
Yes, the COVID-19 vaccine is safe to receive. According to the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, there are actually hundreds of coronaviruses. Coronaviruses are a large family of viruses that usually cause mild to moderate upper-respiratory tract illnesses, like the common cold. However, three new coronaviruses have emerged over the past two decades to cause serious and widespread illness and death, one of them being COVID-19. While COVID-19 is specific and different from other viruses, previous research on this family of viruses established research ahead of this specific pandemic. And amid a global pandemic, researchers quickly mobilized to share their coronavirus data with other researchers and scientists. The ability to fast-track research and clinical trials was a direct result of worldwide cooperation, which isn't always the case with vaccine and medical developments.
Yes! Student Health can help with starting birth control, changing methods, or refilling a prescription. They provide birth control pills at a very reduced rate, and can assist in prescriptions or referrals for other forms of birth control (implant, IUD, patch, etc). Contact Student Health by emailing email@example.com, calling 573.341.4284, or going to studenthealth.mst.edu to learn more.
After having sex but BEFORE pulling out of your partner, make sure to hold the condom in place at the base of the penis. Then pull out of your partner. From here you can simply pull the condom off and throw it away being careful not to spill (mostly because it's a mess!). It's important to note: Those with a penis generally lose their erection soon after ejaculating, and when that happens it’s possible for the condom to slip off or spill semen. To prevent spilling, pull both out before the penis softens.
A dental dam is a thin, flexible, square piece of latex that helps prevent the spread of STDs and other germs during oral sex.
Place one over your or your partner’s vulva and/or anus so that it creates a barrier between the mouth and genitals. Don’t worry about stretching the dam or pressing it tight against the skin — just hold it in place. Sometimes a dam will even stay in place on its own because of vaginal moisture or static.
Dams can sometimes be hard to find in stores. In Rolla, there are some available for free at Planned Parenthood. Or, you can cut open a condom and lay it flat on your partner’s vulva or anus. Check out this guide to turning a condom into a dental dam.
While there are of course many germs in a restroom, the toilet seat is not a common way of transmitting infections or diseases to humans. Many disease-causing organisms can survive for only a short time on the surface of the seat, and for an infection to occur, the germs would have to be transferred from the toilet seat to your urethral or genital tract, or through a cut or sore on the buttocks or thighs, which is possible but very unlikely. You cannot receive a STD (sexually transmitted disease) from a toilet seat.
Yes, you can certainly have a dependence on marijuana/weed, as with any drug, which is where you may feel symptoms of withdrawal when not using it.
Marijuana use can be considered an addiction when the person cannot stop using the drug even though it interferes with many aspects of their life. Estimates of the number of people addicted to marijuana are controversial, but studies from the National Institute on Drug Abuse suggest that 9% of people who use marijuana will become dependent on it.
If you feel like you have to use marijuana to relax and are unable to do so without it, that may be a sign of dependence. So the case may be not so much that you aren't relaxed, but that you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms from too much time passing between uses. Common withdrawal symptoms are restlessness, insomnia, nervousness or anxiety, irritability, headaches, nausea, or bad/unsettling dreams.
In this instance, reducing or quitting your use can be very beneficial. For those who have a higher dependence/addiction, it may be more helpful to slowly reduce the amount you use over time instead of going "cold turkey" as this will help reduce withdrawal symptoms. Withdrawal can last for many days, even up to a week or longer.
If you need support or want to quit/reduce use, Student Well-Being offers judgement-free marijuana use consultations.
It is totally normal to be feeling particularly anxious or stressed after an interaction (or in this case many interactions) with a potential employer. It can feel like there is a lot riding on you doing well! If you are feeling like you wished you had done better, we would recommend talking to COER because they have many options for helping you to better prepare for those types of interactions, such as practice interviews, resume review, professional clothes, and much more when it comes to getting a co-op, job, or other future plans. You can check out their services at career.mst.edu.
Regarding the anxiety attacks, we'd highly recommend coming into Student Well-Being for a quick 20 minute screening to see what resources or services would be most valuable to you. Persistent anxiety attacks after an event has occurred can be serious. If you feel as though you cannot "move past" your anxiety and/or the anxiety is interfering with your ability to get through your day, this is a sign that additional support would be valuable! You can schedule a screening with a licensed counselor by calling 573.341.4211, visiting 204 Norwood Hall, or through the Patient Portal.
We are so sorry to hear that you are experiencing all of this, we know how difficult it can be to manage academics and personal concerns when it feels like they just keep piling up. Thank you so much for reaching out and getting support, that's the best first step!
Burn out is tricky because it affects all of us differently and can stem from many places, but it can be helpful to tackle it with both an external and internal/emotional approach. Externally, try starting with making a list of your largest stressors- or what parts of your day cause burnout. And try and be specific. What do you look forward to the least? Which parts of your day make the rest of the day difficult to get through?
Look at what is on the list- there are a few things that may help:
With lack of family time, if you are unable to visit as much as you'd like, it can be helpful to schedule set times in the day for a phone call, video chat, or text, even if the time frame has to remain limited. Try incorporating the chatting into other pockets of already-scheduled time, like when you are eating meals or when you exercise. If you are unable to make calls or video chat, try making texting more fun or intentional with family by creating texting "games", such as taking a picture in front of something specific that everyone has to recreate (ie posing in front of a tree, copying each other's silly faces, wearing certain colors, etc). This can help take the pressure off only talking about school and updates, and can help form new memories from afar.
Overall, we'd strongly recommend seeking external support to talk more about your concerns and to find long-term solutions. Hopefully some of the above ideas are helpful, but having consistent and ongoing support may be best in this situation. Below are a few services/resources to consider:
Figuring out how to show support can be difficult especially after a traumatic event like sexual assault. In short, there is no single correct response. The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) offers helpful information about how to support and validate a friend, family member, or intimate partner who has survived sexual violence. One useful strategy for structuring conversations is the TALK method:
Following this method is a good guide to ensure you are providing the support your friend needs. If your friend does state they want help in locating what resources are available to them on campus and in Rolla, you can provide them with information that is located on our website under the “Sexualized Violence/Harassment/Discrimination” section. These resources include:
RAINN has developed a Friends and Family Toolkit for Supporting a Loved One After Sexual Violence available here. If you want more resources or information please contact Student Well-Being by calling 573.341.4211, visiting 204 Norwood Hall, or emailing firstname.lastname@example.org.